Compromise

Morning I sat sipping on my coffee in the warm early sun, hiding the red swollen eyes in my hair safely. There lied the photo of my Dad in front of me. I picked it up. It was hard to notice the smile on his face. I screeched a lil just inside.

He always gives me NEWS! whether good or bad....he is jst too direct. I got 2 News. One I am sure is a Good News the other….hmmm….not sure! As Majority generally chooses I chose to know the “not sure” News first n then the good news hoping it would patch it up.

“Not Sure” News:

I confessed my feelings to my father figure and realized I am not in love! Which eventually means I am not heart broken either…yippyyy…! My DAD convinced me that its quite natural to cry over ur Best Frd’s Wedding….since u r now gonna have to share ur best frd with someone who might probably own him more than you!! Ooucchhhh!! That still hurts though!!  L Anyway that not only grants me the right to cry but also to continue to meet & keep in touch! yayy!!

Now for the “GOOD News”:

I don’t have to wait in a violet gown for my gay frd and spend the rest of my life with him! Gotchaaa ;)

Ok I continue my grieve! I hate this! I love my frd and now I have to give him away to someone! Damn it!! n the good news is a fictitious one!!

- Heart Beat 

My Best Friend's Wedding

For those who have seen the movie "My Best Frd's Wedding"....hail....u got my story!

From past 2 yrs i have been wishing & Hoping & Planning & HELPING my best frd for his wedding. he trust me so much that he would call me everytime he got nervous (of course with regard to gals only). I played the role of this sweet n nice frd and helped him out n made him comfy everytime!

Now when the time has come....to see my frd married.....my heart aches!!! I am shocked! am I shocked? confused!! I love this guy.....but not that way....but y does it hurt to see him with another gal whom he loves??!! when after all this is wat i wanted to see all these days too!

My Frd calls me to share one of the best news in his life....and guess what....ya ya....i broke into tears!! Somehow managed to say..."hold on will call u bak in 2 mins"....I hope i did sound normal. deadly tp give him hints now!

its 2:40 AM and all I can do is sit here write stories abt my Best frd's wedding who is I am sure snoring his way into the dreams with his lady love! this is driving me nuts! now i really am wondering....wat was it all these days?!! did i miss something? too late huh? Damn it!!! they make it sound easy in movies! ohhh man!!!

It was not easy tp sit in front of the idiot box and cry for beautiful Julia Robert's broken heart....Now how will I play the role guys?? that too for the rest of my life?!??!! Please tell me I am dreaming!!

On the other hand does this mean I am gonna land up beautiful, 30s Lady in violet gown with a gay frd!!!!!! ooooopppppsssssss!! Need some shoulder to cry on!! :'(

- Heart Beat

Confused & Refused

I want to be HUGGED, not by a wall when I cry aloud,
I want to be LOVED, once for true & not on cloud

I feel the stress for my TEARS to be shed
But I will HOLD THEM TIGHT until you are here for me to be held

I turn to YOU & ask to show
My future has its love or just knotted brow

Hail sorry to the wishing TREE
So true yet so dry to look so GREEN

Enough is enough...no more DARKNESS I seek
Please tell em the TRUTH hard or sleek
Make me a ROSE or THORN indeed

I will sail AWAY as I have promised not to BREAK
Shud I hope for a GOOD night with SWEET dreams or mere NIGHTMARE awake

Held me oh LORD & take me with YOU
coz this pain is dreadful & Damn it everyday its NEW!!

- Heart Beat